Bumper Sticker Manifesto

When some people turn 40 they do wild and crazy things to memorize the event--get tattoos, buy a convertible, ask for a divorce, have an affair, adopt a child, jump out of planes--but I did something even more daring--I decorated my bumper--rather, my car's bumper with stickers proclaiming my liberal, feminist beliefs--in a town full of Republicans and conservative Christians.  Now, before you go all ranty on me and call the Civil Liberties Union,  let me explain:  some of my best friends are Republicans.  I have been known to hang with the best of evangelicals.  The amazing thing is that they are also willing to hang with me--so I kind of figure those folks don't count when I talk about living in a town full of them.  I'm talking about the judgy ones, the "Oh, you are SO going to hell" ones.  Yes, and I do know who you are.

Back to the bumper stickers.  As a liberal Democrat in town that is probably trying to figure out how it can borrow that bust of Rush Limbaugh that we now have in our State Capital,  I had been the brunt of my fair share of "Gee Shucks, just kiddin'" harassment.  This was especially fun during the final Bill Clinton years and the hanging chad debacle.


And you know, I've always had this thing for bumper stickers.  Maybe it's the teacher in me--you know we are sticker pimps.  But for me,  bumper stickers are like tattoos, they tell people something about you before they even know you.  They proclaim battles you've fought:

What  you think is funny :

Or your alternative interpretation of certain Biblical passages:

So when I turned 40,  I suddenly just didn't care anymore if people thought I was that crazy, liberal, universal health care, Universalist Unitarian, pro-choice, anti-nuke, environmentalist, LGBT-lovin'
radical.  And I got me some bumper stickers.  My favorite, and the one I always replace when I've traded in my old bumper for a new one:

I've had more comments and questions on this one than even the "What Would Scooby Do?" bumper sticker.  You can choose your definition of uppity--especially if you google it.  My choice is from the World English Dictionary: uppity--adj:  not yielding easily to persuasion or control.  I mean, really, shouldn't we all be uppity in our lives?  Who can argue with that? No one--except maybe those ex-husbands and bosses we had to get rid of.  (Definition of "get rid of":  divorce or quit...and maybe just once, fired)

And for all my concern, I will say that nothing ill came of covering my rear with bumper stickers--no riots, no burnings at the stake--in fact almost the opposite happened.  When I claimed my crazy-ass beliefs on a silly little sticker, people I would have never thought would agree with me, sometimes did.  People who disagreed with me still spoke to me.  And more often than not, I was treated a bit like your eccentric, uppity aunt--you know, the one with the tattoos.